new feelings

thoughts, Uncategorized

it’s been a while.

and I always say this… so much has happened since.

it’s crazy how the stars can align.

i never wanted to be that person who would write about how she was no longer single, but how it had all happened still makes me giggle, and I can’t help but share.

I had actually first met him on my third day coming to JCU. The student society had organized a field trip out to Crystal Creek and I spontaneously decided that I should try to socialize and make new friends. It was a wonderful day, but my friends and I were one of the last ones to get on the bus back home, and so we had to sit separately. I stumbled upon an empty seat about halfway down the bus- a blonde boy sits kind of awkwardly in the window seat. I prepare myself to make conversation with him as I sit down and recollect myself. And as I do, he starts putting on his headphones, and I’m like “Oh. Okay. I see how it is. Not even giving me a chance! Whatever” I ended up falling asleep on the ride home anyways.

Fast forward a little, and I notice him in one of my classes (At this point, I hadn’t put together that he was the boy on the bus who flat out ignored me). During one of our lab sessions where we were dissecting fish heads, I was playing “Hold On by RIVVRS” , and halfway through the song, he randomly walks up to my phone and Shazams it. His phone is right up mine, and he doesn’t even say anything until I’m like, “You like this?”, and he’s like “Yea!”. I reply “So you’re a fan of indie music?”, and he says “Oh, absolutely!”, and then walks off. WHAT? He didn’t even give me enough time to respond. Good grief. As he left I was like damn, he would have been nice to share music with..

It’s now April 1st. My roommate and I were pretty drunk at this point- a happy drunk and I had no idea where in the city I was. Apparently it was “The Office”, it was a neat club- not too crowded or rowdy. As I’m dancing it off, I notice someone familiar looking at me, and I quickly realize it’s that guy from class. After a song or two, he’s still kind of looking over, so me and my drunken self walks towards him and yells “Hey! What’s your name?” And he’s like “Louis!”. For the next half an hour or so, nothing crazy happens between us, no words are exchanged, he was just there. Eventually, he asked to buy me a drink, and I’m like sure! We continue dancing- his friends leave him, and I’m just having a blast around my roommate and her friends.

It’s almost 2am when my roommate and I decide to call it a night. Louis follows us, and we rock up to the bus stop, and while we’re walking he asks “Would you like to come home with me?” (In his head, he thought we had talked more before asking, hahahahah). I do a quick nervous laugh, and respond “I’m sorry, I’m not that kind of girl” (Till this day, I don’t know how I maintained such a nice response, but it was probably because I knew I would be seeing him in my class again, hahaha. What is also hilarious is that he had never said those words to a girl before. It was a very ‘un-Louis’ thing to do). I don’t remember what his response was, but he ends up asking for my number, and I’m like “Just add me on Facebook”. The bus comes, and we sit together, and talk about music. Before I get off, he’s like “Okay, what about dinner?”, I’m like “Yea sure! Bye!”

What a night.

The next morning, he messages me on Facebook, and we’re expressing our struggle of being hungover, and exchanging music to help get through the day. He’s persistent, and I realize he’s being way too friendly for someone I had just met. He was definitely keen. Hahaha, but I wasn’t really feeling his vibe- ESPECIALLY since he had asked me to come home with him the day I met him. I had the *fuck boy ALERT* going off in my head.

He still  kept at it though, and he asked me out on a coffee date which I hesitated but proceeded to go anyways- I did enjoy talking to him. I ended up having a really good time, chatting about movies, college, travelling, and family till the cafe closes, and we’re forced to leave. I ask if he wants to join me at the library to study a little, he agrees, and we keep each other company for the next hour.

At that point, I still wasn’t sure how I felt about him, but he was super sweet, and slowly redeeming his “come home with me” day.

We end up arranging a night out at the movies- I didn’t really see it as a date. I really enjoyed his company but I still didn’t know how I felt about him. When we had class together, we wouldn’t always sit next to each other, and when we did, he never made conversation! So, I was always confused at what his intentions really were (Now I know he was just super nervous to talk to me, hahahaha, this boy).

We saw Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2, Prometheus, and Wonder Woman together. He came over to my place for Prometheus and I also made him dinner because he was heading out that night to watch the finals for Frisbee with his college, he had invited me along but I wanted to stay in. Every time we were watching a movie together, he never made a move, but I did realize his subtle hand that shifted over my direction every now and then. How cute. After Guardians, I went back to his place shortly, met his other roommates, and went to Uni Club. His friends were so sweet, and when we bumped into one of his friends at Uni Club, she was like “omg, Louis has told me so much about you!”. Yikes. That was when I realized he definitely wanted something more out of this. He offered to walk me back, but I insisted I’ll be fine. When we went to go see Wonder Woman, his bike broke down on the way back, and so we had to walk an hour to get back home. Fate or not, that was when I started having stronger feelings for him. He walked back to my place first despite living on the other side- gave me a hug and called it a night.

As the semester was coming to an end, we started chatting more, and studying together close to finals. He had gone to Bali for a week, but we were snap chatting the whole time. As soon as exams were over, my friends and I had a big night out. And that’s when it all just happened. He came over to my friend’s house party, and was just the biggest social butterfly. He was getting the party going, and I gotta say, that was super attractive. I grabbed for his hand while dancing, and as we headed to the city he finally had the courage to reach out for my hand.

Then everything just fell into place.

It was such an incredible night of dancing.

He took me home, and I invited him inside. We stood there awkwardly in the kitchen, and I was getting super nervous because I wasn’t sure what was going to happen next. I give him a big hug, and he’s like, “I know we’re about to do a project together (we were taking an intensive class in the coming week), but heck, I need to ask you- Can I please kiss you?” I’m stunned, and in awe- what a gentleman. I reply: “Of course…but nothing else is going to happen, okay? I want to take things slow”. He respects my response, and reaches my face for a kiss.

(to be continued)


the people you meet


Not sure where this post will lead to, but lately I’ve been feeling so emotionally drained. I won’t go into depth into why, but feelings like these always seem to begin with the people you meet.

One of my roommates knocked on my door at 7:20am, and said goodbye- he’s moving on to his next medical placement, and will be travelling to Europe for part of the placement. How exciting! I didn’t know he was leaving so early, and had decided the night before that I wanted to give him a goodbye hug, haha (yes I think about every detail). But because I like half asleep, in shock, and in my PJs, I kind of just rolled up from bed, and was like ‘ What? Already? Okay… Bye!!- instantly regretting not getting up to give him a hug” You see, I wouldn’t say we were exactly close at all. But I definitely lucked out with the roommates. Every night he would be like “Goodnight fam!” I thought it was real cute. We started bonding more when I dragged them out to finally try rock climbing, and we had a great time. We had an extremely fancy dinner last night with the new roommate moving in to replace the boys leaving, and it was really nice. We placed all our phones in the middle- something he initiated, and just talked. And although I’ll be seeing him again in September when he comes back from placement, it sucks when you have to say goodbye to someone you just broke the ice with. I could have a whole other post with how I feel about goodbyes- something I have learned to hate and dread. And one of the only things I hate about travelling.

With the people you meet, you can honestly learn so much about yourself. You are inspired by others, and you are motivated to start doing things you have always wanted to. With the boys, I’ve been inspired to take up cycling now. I want to get a road bike and ride up those mountains every other morning (it’s now a goal by the end of my Masters… hahaha, let’s see how far I go with that).

I honestly don’t know where this post is going, but what I want to say is that I love meeting people. And when I meet someone that I instantly connect with, it feels like a shot of adrenaline. I want to know more about that person, I want to spend as much time with them, and I want to be a part of their life. But sometimes it doesn’t always work out that way. I guess you can say I can’t take things slow (haha). And more often than enough, I feel quite rejected when the other person doesn’t show that excitement. But I’ve been trying to get myself out of that head space- people are busy, people have other friends.

Don’t rush into it.

The time will come.




(it also doesn’t help when you find that person attractive)