the people you meet

thoughts

Not sure where this post will lead to, but lately I’ve been feeling so emotionally drained. I won’t go into depth into why, but feelings like these always seem to begin with the people you meet.

One of my roommates knocked on my door at 7:20am, and said goodbye- he’s moving on to his next medical placement, and will be travelling to Europe for part of the placement. How exciting! I didn’t know he was leaving so early, and had decided the night before that I wanted to give him a goodbye hug, haha (yes I think about every detail). But because I like half asleep, in shock, and in my PJs, I kind of just rolled up from bed, and was like ‘ What? Already? Okay… Bye!!- instantly regretting not getting up to give him a hug” You see, I wouldn’t say we were exactly close at all. But I definitely lucked out with the roommates. Every night he would be like “Goodnight fam!” I thought it was real cute. We started bonding more when I dragged them out to finally try rock climbing, and we had a great time. We had an extremely fancy dinner last night with the new roommate moving in to replace the boys leaving, and it was really nice. We placed all our phones in the middle- something he initiated, and just talked. And although I’ll be seeing him again in September when he comes back from placement, it sucks when you have to say goodbye to someone you just broke the ice with. I could have a whole other post with how I feel about goodbyes- something I have learned to hate and dread. And one of the only things I hate about travelling.

With the people you meet, you can honestly learn so much about yourself. You are inspired by others, and you are motivated to start doing things you have always wanted to. With the boys, I’ve been inspired to take up cycling now. I want to get a road bike and ride up those mountains every other morning (it’s now a goal by the end of my Masters… hahaha, let’s see how far I go with that).

I honestly don’t know where this post is going, but what I want to say is that I love meeting people. And when I meet someone that I instantly connect with, it feels like a shot of adrenaline. I want to know more about that person, I want to spend as much time with them, and I want to be a part of their life. But sometimes it doesn’t always work out that way. I guess you can say I can’t take things slow (haha). And more often than enough, I feel quite rejected when the other person doesn’t show that excitement. But I’ve been trying to get myself out of that head space- people are busy, people have other friends.

Don’t rush into it.

The time will come.

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(it also doesn’t help when you find that person attractive)

yikes

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the transition

thoughts

March 2nd, 2017 —  (HOW IS IT MARCH ALREADY?)

Today is officially the two week mark of my time here in Townsville. Three if we’re counting the days in Canberra. Honestly, it feels like I’ve been here for so much longer. Maybe it’s because I’ve always felt at home here in Australia, it never feels like I’ve left. That being said, the first few days here in Townsville was rough. And I mean it. As much as Australia is home to me, this was by far the hardest transition. The five days I had spent in Canberra was wonderful. I got to stay with my amazing cousin (she cooks the best meals and makes sure I have enough wine and champagne every night),  and met up with old friends. Oh how much I’ve missed Canberra. Canberra is such a gem- everyone had told me it was going to a boring little government city (perhaps a close comparison to Ottawa, haha), but honestly it is a beautiful city with some incredible people. It’s filled with parks, great food, and fantastic weather. Seeing my friends again that I had met last July was just perfect. We picked up right where we left off- climbing mountains, eating, talking for hours, having a picnic, sharing silly stories, and laughing at the most ridiculous things. I couldn’t have been happier and I didn’t want to leave.

I knew leaving for Townsville was going to be hard. Sure, I’ve traveled to places where I knew nobody, but it was different this time. I’m going to be living here for a year and a half, and meeting so many new faces. What if I don’t make any friends? What if everyone already has their own groups since I missed all of O-week? What if nobody likes me? What if my roommates are crazy? What am I doing?? Did I make the right choice? Can I stay in Canberra longer? Can I just travel for life?

Fortunately, I was lucky to have my new roommate pick me up from the airport, and felt that maybe this was going to work out. Now don’t get me wrong, my roommates are lovely and I feel so incredibly lucky to have such chill, friendly roommates. (I’m going to refer to them as the boys now) The boys are in their final year of med school, and are more than a head taller than me. They’re absolutely hilarious, and love to stay active. To put it short, they work hard, eat healthy, exercise daily on the weekdays, and let loose on the weekend. When I first arrived, they had already invited some friends over and would be heading out to a nearby bar. I reluctantly decided to join- I was tired, and still feeling down about leaving Canberra. But I wanted to make a good first impression , so I tried to be social… but I couldn’t. When their friends came over, I couldn’t make conversation, it’s like I had forgotten how to talk. Everyone always sees me as this social butterfly, but when you’re placed in a situation where everyone else knows each other, I’m the most timid person ever. I start to get anxious and overwhelmed. I start to feel really uncomfortable and start to question what I’m even doing.

When we get to the bar, I feel even more uncomfortable. Everyone here knew each other, and I didn’t know anyone except my roommates who were catching up with all their friends. I stepped outside, and called my friend back in Canberra for some encouragement. It hasn’t even been a day in Townsville and I’ve already fallen apart. Yikes. Am I ever going to make any friends?  After some wise words from my friend, I walked back into the bar with my chin up and told the boys I’ll be heading back home first. I needed the rest.

I spent the next day alone, I needed to recollect my thoughts, I needed to wallow. I tell myself it’s going to get better.. I know it will.

And it did. 

I met some incredible people the next day at an outing to a nearby swimming hole, and couldn’t wait to get to know these people more. They were all studying marine biology as well- turns out, basically everyone here studies marine biology haha, go figure.

The days keep getting better and better, and I can’t wait to see what’s next in store for me! I’m loving my classes so far (it’s so different when you actually take classes you are interested in), I’m taking on every opportunity I get, I’m biking to school, I’m slowly getting use to this high humidity weather (ugh), I’m swimming more, I’m rock climbing outdoors again, I’m more relaxed, and perhaps most importantly, feeling like myself again!